(Brandine) Lois Lame DHB Homelessness Diary – Day 4

Oh ya you missed all the other days but they’re mostly on @brandine_X  (I don’t always have the time to sit there and pen out a blorg).  Days 1, 2, and 3 flew by as I was hard at twerk.  I am a really good bartender and server and do everything I can to throw myself into the host/entertainer role.  I’m grateful that my boss has spent years building up a solid clientele.  I rarely ever have to put on my bouncer fedora these days.

I have been searching for a modest home for 3 weeks now, and its a struggle in Vancouver.  This town is full of people who have just arrived and came to follow their dreams, just as I did some 5 years ago.  Ahh well it was hard back then, but I recon its even harder now.  So if anyone you know is thinking of coming to Vancouver on a haphazard whim…advise them to read my blog and then engage in political activism to change their local culture’s ideals about marijuana.

Today I looked at a rather shoddy bachelor.  “I’ll take it.”  I don’t fucking care.  I’m not home much and when I am I’m not sitting there thinking ‘oh I wish I lived in some grandious castle on the lake in outerspace made of diamonds’.  I never fucking cook; I work in a really good restaurant and I know the cheapest healthiest spots to call my feeding hole.  I have no stereo.  My computer was stolen not that I even care cuz I can do absolutely everything from my Android.  I’m highly immigrant friendly and upwardly mobile (or so I like to think).

But alas the landlord has to get back to me when he can get his daughter to translate.  I know I could communicate with this man.  This would be no problem for me.  I used to talk to the most foreign of foreigners when I worked for the government.  But I understand that the guy is probably quite insecure.

So here I sit at the library.  Truth be told I just wanted to read Indiana Jones (re: conflict in Middle East plotlines), but the only damn plugin was by a computer so I got sucked into WordPress.   Before I came here I was at a pot-lounge not smoking pot cuz I didn’t feel like it.  I just read the news and said hi to a few chronic kids.  I’d totally go all squiggly if I smoke blunts as fat as those.  Oh and when I read the news…when I read the news…I just can’t help by troll the politicians and the journalists.  Call it a hobby.  I stick to what I know though, seeing as I don’t particularly want to be the next hot blog-murder case.  (BUSINESS/ANTHROPOLOGY/ENTERTAINMENT/ENVIRONMENT/politix).  Once and a while I even get a media response or a tweet back.  🙂  This is why I love the media in my town.  This is why I read the paper damn near everyday.

Vancouver has a large homeless population, not gonna lie.  The working chaps get screwed over left right and centre by an overly socialist town/uppity as fkk on the otherside of the scale.  Like I swear it feels like it would be easier to get a place to live if I was in detox or if I was a prostitute or a drama queen or something. 🙂  WELL I am sortof a drama queen but I do it a little more like Madonna than Charlie Sheen.  And my network is rather quite large and well-rounded.  But most of them are part of the 1 billion worldwide smart people who don’t really have any property to rent and probably are more focused on childcare.  Oh but remember DHB makes all these waves for the children.  If I didn’t find them all so damn cute and want them to have good lives I’d probably just watch Orange is the New Black reruns for weeks on end.

Well we shall see if I has an home for my suitcase later tonight.  If not, I’m self-medicating with another 6 pack.  I might even splurge on one of Vancouver’s finer (famous) craft beers.  Yes, yes….the world is my oyster.  There are oysters walking around everywhere though….and most of them are remote terminals who still haven’t realized that privacy is a delusion.   LOL  Just don’t be a douchebag about it now that you know this 🙂  Oh and also come to my restaurant and follow/subscribe/tell yo friends.  Have a lovely damn day!



Extra-Terrestrial Anthropology

My paper can be downloaded here if you are an interested scholar, dean, or publisher:


Bully Culture: My Tips for Both the Young and Old

fight with energy not bodies.  and leave.

fight with energy not bodies. and leave.

If you’re lucky enough to have a stable life with solid friends that appreciate you in all your uniqueness, you still might want to read this in case you know a kid who happens to be a quirk.  I dare say I’m as quirky as it gets and even worse I have an incredibly high emotional IQ.  But..umm.. my experiences in rural Canada made me far far stronger.  And I’m a full grown adult!  But my enemies probably felt powerful ,because I advocated non-violence and non-threatening behaviour.

I mean really I will always be just a kid at heart, so its understandable that I got bullied in the very same way that a teenager would.  Hopefully I can help someone.

Well where I was, the people just have a lot of angst and crankiness.  They all work mundane jobs that pay big bucks and work more than their fair share of hours.  They drink alcohol instead of water and the overwhelming majority never reads a book and has no clue what a blog is.  The most they will do is take cheap shots on Facebook.  Oh I generalize here, there were obviously the good ones.  But those ones were always on guard and acting as if they were ordinary.  A few select people I met out there, I believe have the potential to be celebrated artists.

But creative enthusiasm is met with both cat-calling and in the worst cases death threats.  A girl with large tits is most certainly not permitted to go for a jog or a swim.  Bar-brawls are common and rumors spread like plagues.  And I’m sure you can imagine that 99% of the things said are untrue.  At one point the whole town was accusing me of smearing shit on the walls in the bar bathroom, and I was like what?  I thought I was always nice to you.  My phone got hacked and all my friends got bombed with ridiculously defaming messages and I had to get all new accounts a new phone number and SIM card.  But I didn’t mind, the cell phone agent did it for free when I told my story.  I did also make one police report, no charges, just in case things got ugly.

Well here was my strategy.  It depended on the situation.  If they were picking fun, I’d take a cheap shot back that was far more insightful and cut deeper.  This may have not been the wisest approach (certainly not for the weak of heart), but it did at least bring satisfaction.  If they were raging, I was the most elusive escape artist in the world.  I never told anyone where I lived, no worries.  Better that then to have a bully come find me and who knows what (I’m just a little lady).  Because of all the hubbub, I spent much time without friends.  So I worked on my various networks.  Took my content creation to (allow me to be proud a little) a mastery level. I talked to old friends.  And even made a few Youtube videos and I achieved a very very small amount of fame for my self-deprecating humour.  Truth be told, comedy is the saddest fucking thing if you really think about it.  But the laughter does serve as a cathartic release.

Eventually I made a few friends willing to stand up for me.  They called these overgrown bullies childish and mean.  I constantly updated my feed just to ensure that my closest family didn’t believe anything that people ranted about me.  In the end, I had to move away.  My boss didn’t treat me with much respect either and cut my hours to next to nothing even though I worked my hardest.  I dearly do love the town I grew up in, but the people there are so fucking bitter and voluntarily-dumb.  I couldn’t help them be happier, because my chill emotional control pissed them off quite royally.  But being emotionally elite does take work.  Read all those heartwarming memes, and counsellor’s blogs, and create some content.  I call it ‘creative therapy’.  Tell your kids, if you think it might help.  IDK, they don’t have the tools to decode and handle it like I did.  Aww and I luv them kiddies.  Send me their Vlog?

Cheers, and remember.  The only time its right to bully is when you are being bullied.  But be sneaky and don’t let them catch onto you.   You smart.

Adventures in Professional Development:  Entertaining Pyramid Schemers Without Joining

you gotta join something but never sacrifice your logic

you gotta join something but never sacrifice your logic

Sometimes I laugh at the things that are just not funny at all.  This evening, I’m laughing about my recent pyramid scheme encounter.  Hehe.  You can’t fool this blogger!

The recruiters were smart, and very well trained to the point where it appeared natural.  But no one who thinks for themselves explains things with such a bulletproof logic.  Myself, educated and with a keen business interest, know that the real world is fairly wish-washy and everything ever written is but someone’s opinion.  Business strategies need to be considered from every possible angle.  I can only speculate what the executives are really aiming to do in this case.  But they do make their followers believe that they are the ones leading, and pursuing their own personal dreams.  Anyways, they were very secretive with what really goes on, and mainly sell the idea of their brand of professional development.  I knew right away when I was contacted what this was (or at least I highly suspected it was a cult).  I’m just that goof that wanted a little cheap yet informative entertainment.

I engaged them.  I asked, “If your business is so successful that you can retire at age 23, I’m interested to know what type of products or services you sell, and what types of work do you actually have to do?”  Well the response was rather weak, something about not giving away their secrets and building trust with mentors at meetings.  Oi.  Well this is all fine and dandy.  Hell I’d love a mentor and I’d love to succeed…but I’m just not so sure the cultish motivation tactics would suit me and my creative intuition that is so aware of what people don’t use words to communicate.  I’ve read a few threads between supporters and haters of this organization, that left me quite divided on whether what they are doing is wrong.  I do however feel confident that they operate within the laws, but these days many people know all too well how easy it is to manipulate our forefather’s legal logic towards a destructive cause.  All in all, I’ll co-operate with almost any organization but the bottom line is I first would just like to know what my job is….anything less is pretty scandalous.

They were far less concerned about my talents and ideas than ensuring that I was motivated to join their winning team.  Well I’m very much motivated and ambitious and to be honest I engage in professional development as a mere hobby.  Their simplistic vision had nothing to do with business and everything to do with recruitment and bragging.

In the past I had the misfortune of being co-opted into a cult that was guised as a rehabilitation centre of an elite calibre.  At that point my dream was to free myself from a cycle of over-consumption.  I just wasn’t happy, because I couldn’t be myself and my worldview was flawed.  I committed to the cause of achieving better health and gave it my all.  I figured out it was a cult after many months of being programmed..but I went along with it because I have an open mind to a fault.  In good faith, I can say that I learned a lot of things that really did help and a lot of things that were fucked up as hell.  This cult totally destroyed my ability to be a productive member of society and it took me many years of reading and learning to get back to a sense of normalcy.  If I were to approach it like conventional education where you consider points and form your own opinions, the whole experience would have been valuable.  But the inherent nature of a cultish education is that you are denied your personal freedom to disagree with any angle of what you are told.  You can’t see what works for you.  You can’t be flexible.  You can’t be creative.  And these are some of the qualities about myself that are priceless to my self esteem and in the end I still have enough groceries in my cupboard that I don’t have to sacrifice them.  If I was desperate, I’m sure I could be a flawless little actress (skills learned from Youtubing), but for now I’ll take my chances and happily continue my job hunt.  

So yes.  I’ll read their book.  It’ll probably be a good read.  Heh but it would probably be a disaster if I decided to go to that meeting.  The down-side of being immune to mind control is that you tend to be toxic towards mind controlled people and they’re over-simplistic logic, which is rather quite alienating.  I still respect them, and admire that they can make lots of money, but they look at me as though I am something that I am not.  Lazy, unruly, and probably not smart enough.  They are conditioned to think this way.  Its ok, it does take all kinds after all.

All in all, I’m so happy I met them.  I started thinking about maybe even starting a small business of my own.  And I can do that without them.  I do have all the tools I need.  Far more than most aspiring entrepreneurs.  But I doubt I’d ever sell a product.  The age of the product is long gone for much of generation Y.  I’m a little ahead, but the only thing people want anymore seems to be sturdy and versatile electronics (and memorable experiences).  I think it’ll have to be a unique and innovative service; something that jives with a new era of communication with heart.  The challenge is pretty ridiculous though, when but a small group of people believe what I do…and they’re all broke as hell.  The lovely virtual ghetto ain’t a glamorous life but it certainly can be a wild, exciting, and entertaining ride, that those mind controlled people can’t even possibly imagine.  But I have faith that things will fare far better once my generation grows up and assumes more power.  Millennials everywhere are starting to pull up their socks, and we’re hilarious  and lovable once you get used to us.  I can’t wait to find a mentor who will laugh with me and let me make money that helps develop our country.  There’s surprisingly quite a few of us young-at-heart weirdos who care not about the annoying American dream.  Because most of us have millions of dreams and we’ll be satisfied if we get any one of them.  Its kinda funny really that Gen Y and Gen X each think the other is crazy and insane and needs helping.  Well…perhaps we need a little of both and a little more hope.  Hehe I wonder what us older zaney content creators will say when Gen Z comes up….7 seconds and the job is done?  Haha I think not.